The Other Focal Point of the Orbital Ellipse
by Randomly's Cat Midnight
Summary: Or, My Life As A Cat. Do not read unless you are prepared to be scared by my insanity.


The Other Focal Point of the Orbital Ellipse

POC2: This story, if you can even call it that, is here because it really doesn't belong anywhere.

It is also known as "The Story with Two Names That Doesn't Really Have Anything to Do with Either of Them," or, "The Story with a Really Long Name."

The story behind it is basically this (skip this if you don't care): we were learning about ellipses in geometry when the teacher told us that the Earth's orbit is, not a circle, but an ellipse. But, as we had learned, every ellipse has two focal points. One is the sun, but what is the other?

Our teacher did not give us an answer, but he did tell us to write a story about what we might find if we were to go to the other focal point. When he handed back mine, he said it was "too logical," so naturally, my cold-fogged brain took this as an excuse to let Randomly free. This is what she came up with.

Read at your own risk.

R: Is she done yet? Good. On to the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: It's mine! It's all mine, and this is not a joke! I really own it all!

POC2: Umm, Midnight is mine.

R: Shut up! Mine! Mine! All mine! Now…

Warning: This story will make you more weird, or your money back!

POC2: Um, Randomly, this is a fanfic. It's free. And shouldn't that be weirder?

R: MORE WEIRD! It's a good thing they paid no money, because if they actually read it after all this, there's probably nothing I can do for them.

POC2: Err, right. So…

Summary: There is absolutely no way I can summarize this story because it has not plot.

Prepare to be confused.

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The Other Focal Point of the Orbital Ellipse

or

My Life as a Cat

In the beginning, there was an apple, and the apple was bored.

So it turned into a white-speckled, black cat named Midnight. And Midnight got into a lot of trouble, and had fun. Then she got bored.

So she turned herself into a human. And the human was me. Then I got bored.

So I learned how to fly. And I flapped my… hair, because I, being the All-Powerful-Apple-Turned-Cat-Turned-Human-Who-Flies, needed no wings, and I flew.

And I flew out of the Earth's atmosphere, but I did not die, because I, being the All-Powerful-Apple-Turned-Cat-Turned-Human-Who-Flies, needed no air.

And I flew to the other focal point of the Earth's orbit because I felt like it.

And I found… an apple.

And I saw it was one of my brethren, and I felt glad.

And he spoke, and I being the All-Powerful-Apple-Turned-Cat-Turned-Human-Who-Flies, understood.

And he said, "I am bored. I will turn into a cat."

And I said, "Cats can be bored, too."

So he turned into a pear.

And I shook my head, for any true apple, or All-Powerful-Apple-Turned-Cat-Turned-Human-Who-Flies, knows that a pear is a lower life form, even below a dog.

And I felt disappointed.

And I looked at the pear again, and I felt hungry. So I ate it.

And I felt full.

And I looked around, and I saw nothing.

And I felt bored.

And the moral of the story, for any truly pointless story must have an equally pointless moral, is never turn yourself into a pear.

And the other moral, for the first was not pointless enough, is I AM MIDNIGHT THE WHITE-SPECKELED BLACK CAT! FEAR ME!

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H: What's going on?

R: Hey! Hermoine's here! That means it's technically a fanfiction!

POC2: Hermione, what are you doing here? You're my Harry Potter Muse only!

H: I know, but I had to have this explained.

R: You have a lot to learn Hermione. It cannot be explained, for it makes no sense.

H: But-

M: Meow.

POC2: Midnight says, 'Don't even bother, Hermione, Randomly doesn't even know what logic means.'

R: I do too! It means… um… Moo!

POC2: Right.

R: Ha! Moo defeats all! On a side note, imaginary e-cookies (and a review) for anyone who notices the Garfield reference in the story or the Tamora Pierce reference in the dialog (it may be farther down). You don't get any thing for the HP reference, because that's blatantly obvious. And it's not just imaginary e-cookies; it's _homemade, kosher, _imaginary e-cookies! Beat that!

POC2: Um, you can't cook.

R: No, but you can!

POC2: What!? I'm not a house elf!

H: What did you say?!

POC2: Huh? NO! I'm pro-SPEW! I sympathize with house elves! Wait! I'll let you go back to school at the end of my story! I'll-

H: PETRIFICAS TOTALAS!!

M: Can we finish this up?

H: Wait, how are you talking?

M: Easy. I'm not really a cat, I'm a Wild Mage.

H: Oh…

M: Until next time!


End file.
